It’s the end of another day, a Sunday no less…
And I’m left wondering just what the heck did I accomplish?
By my own reckoning? Not very much.
I spent hours and hours in a literal Either/Or state.
It probably didn’t look like that to anyone who might’ve happened by and glanced at me.
They’d just see this guy working away at his desk. Hell, they might even think I was being productive.
But at the end of the day all that matters is what was achieved.
And as I was already saying…not very much got done.
Which brings me around to the concept of Buridan’s Ass, otherwise known as
Buridan’s Donkey
(because I don’t want you to think we’re objectifying poor old Buridan)
Anyway, if you haven’t heard the wee tale of this donkey, I’ll share it with you now.
This particular donkey was mighty hungry, and in his search for food came upon two identical piles of hay.
And while the donkey was exceptionally hungry, he wasn’t particularly bright.
He was caught exactly between the two identical piles of hay, and had no way to decide between them.
- He couldn’t choose based on one being better than the other because they were identical.
- He couldn’t choose a closer pile, because they were both the identical distance away.
And so the story goes, Buridan’s donkey died of starvation because it just couldn’t decide.
Or perhaps, was so concerned that he would make the wrong choice, he made zero choice and sealed his fate.
I heard this analogy years and years ago…and I thought it was stupid.
I mean, how stupid could this donkey possibly be?
Choose one of the two piles of hay already!
I mean, the donkey couldn’t really lose in that scenario as long as he just picked a pile of hay.
And yet somehow, he ends up snatching defeat from the jaws of victory and starves instead.
This story didn’t seem realistic to me.
But sadly, as I’ve grown older (and wiser?) I’ve noticed that I have more in common with this dimwitted creature than I would care to admit.
Which brings me back to that Either/Or state I was mentioning earlier.
It’s a place that’s in between two different outcomes: victory and defeat.
And while you remain there, both are possible…and that’s what seduces us.
Because unlike the donkey who merely couldn’t decide, we’re often put into uncertainty without identical options on either side.
Instead, we enter a ‘fog of war’ where we could be in the donkey’s scenario (and either option we choose is a ‘win’) or we could be in a no-win situation where
not matter which option we choose…we end up in defeat.
Like the Kobayashi Maru training exercise.
In a scenario like that…
The only way to win is to not play the game
But, this is life…not a game that we can avoid or opt out of.
We’re human.
We don’t have the certainty of knowing the outcome of our actions in advance.
We can only see a small slice of where we are and where we’re going.
Embracing our limitations, in a weird way helps to free us from them.
We come to grips with the fact that, like flipping a coin…we may not come out on the winning end of things.
And that’s okay, because often the worst outcome is pushing off the decision entirely.
Which is what annoyed me off about that donkey…
it just seemed so irrational (to younger me) to not be able to pick one of those two hale bales.
We’d like to think we’re smarter than the average donkey, but we underestimate how emotional and irrational we can be.
(Or illogical as Mr. Spock would say).
We’re not smart enough to avoid and procrastinate on taking action, but I guess we’re smart enough to disguise it.
Kind of like my friends cat who would throw up on the carpet, but have the sense to attempt to hide it under whatever piece of paper or random sock it could happen to find.
So yeah, I was busy working on something…just not the right something.
I wanted to build something, but I wanted to build it MY way.
I wanted it to function in a certain way.
I thought I could build it better…
And the thing that should’ve been done in a single hour…went unfinished over the course of several.
Not sure who the heck I’m trying to impress?
Sorta done, but not ready to ship.
That ever-so-comfortable ‘in progress but not ready’ state.
And when you work for yourself, that is time you’re just never going to get back.
Being objective about it now as I look back, I was doing ‘busy work’.
At the root of all that?
I think for some reason I can’t quite explain…I’m avoiding getting version 1 live and moving onto more important things.
All the while… patting myself on the back for my high standards.
Done is better than perfect.
Perfection is an unrealistic outcome for us mere humans, even though it won’t stop many of us from trying.
And as per usual, I’m writing this to myself…hoping to knock some sense into this dumb-ass.
And I’m trying to salvage what I can at the same time.
The landing page I was working on today, the template has been saved.
I won’t need to build it from scratch going forward…it’s a good enough v1 to start with.
So I can go onto the more important finishing of the thing I’m actually offering people…and then the work of telling people about it.
And it will succeed or it will fail, and I have to be okay with either outcome.
At least, that’s what I’m going to keep telling myself.
and heck, I also came up with a half decent blog post out of all of this, so that’s gotta be worth something right?
Is this something anyone else wrestles with?
Or am I the only ass in the room?
Anyway, tomorrow is another day and a chance to improve.
We are all just a work in progress…
So go easy on yourself, and just ship the damn thing.
You can course correct later.
And if there isn’t a later?
Well at least you got something done with the time you had.
And that’s something that all the procrastinators out there can’t say.